Holding my Breath

So I had a pretty indulgent weekend.  Nothing beyond salvation, but too much food and wine.  And I expected a decent jump on the scale, but to my surprise it not only remained steady but dropped a pound.  I'm not getting too excited, because the scale is a finicky bitch.  But I have kept up with my tough workouts this week. Pushing myself with the kettle bells, and getting my cardio in.  I even fixed my heart rate monitor - so hopefully I will be able to get a better read on my calorie burn during lifting.

I am really liking the lifting - I love getting stronger.  No definition yet, but the inches are going down.  And that is all I can ask.  Part of me would love to get to my goal by the time I get pregnant again, but that might be too much.  I prefer taking my time right now.  Being able to indulge a bit and learn and tweak as I go.  Not stressing about every week and every pound.

I know I will still freak out in the future - I expect nothing less of myself. :) But I feel like I'm getting better, and that is what matters.

Expect the Unexpected

Work, kids, life...I guess we should always expect the unexpected.  At work I have some competing opportunities that I might have to make a decision on soon. At home my kid is just a barrel of surprises, like tonight and her marathon second wind.  Health/weight wise, I was genuinely surprised to see the number on the scale that I saw yesterday.  I was just lower than I expected. It made me realize how off track I get on the weekends, and how badly that has affected my weight loss efforts.  I have a good weigh in, then what?  Then the unexpected.  A boxed lunch at work that was a cookie and pretzels  a roast beef sandwich, the happy hour!!  Then today a buffet breakfast for work (carb central) and another boxed lunch then snacks galore, and another happy hour.

I seem to always derail after a victory.  By weakness on my part, or events leading to lots of eating out and decadent food.  I could abstain.  Which would mean I wouldn't eat.  But I indulge, and enjoy and start again tomorrow.

That's the beauty.  I can always start again tomorrow ....or right now.    

Goals Goals Goals

Goals!  They are what drive me to write a blog, work out everyday, push myself at work and pretty much do anything.  I love setting goals, making a plan and pushing myself.  All of that is wonderful and great except that about 1 month into a resolution or new project I lose steam and forget it all.  Once I did buck up and lose a lot of weight (120lbs to be exact-more on that later), but that's it.  One time thing, totally gained a bunch, but not all of it back.

I've just started the 30 Day Challenge via  Chalene Johnson. Today, day 3, I made a list of 10 goals for the next 12 months.  A few were a big stretch.  I would like to get my weight down into the 100's, do a legit pull up, two races (5k or more), get a promotion, and do a date night every month with my husband.  Those aren't all of them, but those are the best.  I'm not sure what the rest of this 30 day challenge has in store,  but I am hoping that gets me to commit to my goals for more than just a month, maybe even the whole year.

I will also try to use this blog for accountability, for myself since right now I'm typing to no one. :) But f anyone does read this, ideas on how to stick with your goals or projects are welcome!

Competition

“Look in the mirror…that’s your competition.” - Unknown

I am a Crossfit newbie. I’ve had 9 classes, and one left on my Groupon (bought New Year’s Day – of course). I like the idea of Crossfit. I like leaving and feeling strong. I’m not sure I’m sold enough to pay the price of my local gym, but it will always be an option.

What I do love about the gym I’ve been to has been that I’m not competing with the woman next to me, or the mother of three or the bulked up Marine. I’m competing with myself. Each class I am being challenged to out-lift, out-burpee, out-squat the Susan from the previous week. I can deadlift 135lbs now. I can do a better burpee and a deeper squat now. And two months from now my goal is to deadlift more, squat better and burpee like a badass. I put all this on “paper,” but I will never, not check out the person next to me and compare myself. I know my nature and human nature.

But maybe putting this “out there” will help me keep some of the focus on the real goal. To better myself. Not to beat anyone. Especially at an imagined competition that doesn’t exist.